The Walker's Regret
by Rogue di Valencia
Summary: Please Allen. Not matter what happens, no matter what, never stop, always walking forward. For your own sake. For the happiness that I couldn't give you


**I don't know what the heck came over me when I write this. I was actually trying to write a drabble where Allen likes to cuddle and Mana finds out about that, and somehow it became this.**

 **My mind is so strange sometimes.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man**

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Mana Walker never felt so...content in his life. It happened like a fast blur passing through.

It still boggled him that things had turned out like this. One moment he was mourning over his dead dog, the next one he had a new friend. It's strange, but it's not unwelcome, in fact, Mana liked Allen. He knew that he himself like kids, but feeling so close to this boy in such a short amount of time is confusing.

Right now, he was sleeping, with his son cuddling into his chest like a small kitten, a peaceful look donning his face. It looked so opposite of his snarky and rude attitude.

That brought a frown to his face.

After hanging out in the circus for a few weeks with Allen, he discovered that people tend to...what was the word? Oh yes, bully. People liked to bully him because of his left arm. Apparently, to them, his arm is a curse, an ugly thing that makes him a devil. That was utterly laughable to Mana, no child was born with a devil inside them, only when they grew up is when they allow the demon to crawl into their heart or not.

Allen is different, even if he was grew up with accusations of being a devil, he still has a pure heart, despite that attitude of his. Mana has to work on that, can't have a rude boy that could possibly get them not getting money, can we?

Speaking about money, they had earned enough today to rent a hotel for a few days before travelling again. The money wasn't much, and they will probably have to perform tomorrow if they want to fill their stomach up.

Allen was still wary of him, despite travelling around with him for 12 days, which is fine to Mana. The little boy was never treated like what he deserve to be treated, so of course he was confused to have a man who suddenly barge into his life and shower him with kindness and affections.

And imagine his surprise when he discovered Allen liked to cuddle.

He woke up around 2 in the morning and he found the small boy was hugging him in a death grip. No matter how hard he tried to lift the hands, they would tighten up more to the point where he gave up unless he wants to die because of breaking bones.

"Mana…" a whimper brought him back to reality "Don't leave me…"

Ah, the boy was having a nightmare.

Mana held him closer (if that was possible), as he patted the boy on the back softly as he continued listening to those pleads: How he wanted Mana to stay; how he wanted to be seen not as a monster, but as a human; how he wanted to be happy.

Those pleads made the performer's rage build up more and more inside him, high enough to the point where he wanted to slap some sense into those people and let them see how violent he could be.

"Shh, Allen. I would never leave you." he cooed as he stroked the boy's hair "I promised that I won't leave you, right? I never go back against my words."

That seemed to calm the boy down as a few tears managed to leave those still-closed eyes.

Mana vowed that one day, he will hunt those people down, people who had turned his Allen into this and make them regret the day they were born.

He will kill them.

 _Kill them._

 _Slaughter them into pieces._

 _Make them regret about even touching his son!_ _ **  
**_

Mana took a deep breath as he abandoned those thoughts away. Lately he had been having violent thoughts and if he doesn't control himself, he might give in into that voice. It's too dangerous.

"Mana." Allen said unconsciously.

The performer smiled as he closed his eyes, falling back into a deep slumber with his son in his arms.

For now, he would enjoy the moments he had with Allen and try to bring a happy smile to his face.

-0-

"Mana!"

Who was it?

He opened his eyes and saw his Allen, staring at him with tears of relief spilling out of his eyes. His son was shivering, but he didn't care. He looked like he just got back the person he loved.

What happened?

"Now my Akuma, go and kill that pitiful boy in front of you!" a voice ordered.

His body moved unconsciously. His instincts screamed at him to stop as his arm refused to obey him, raising up to strike his confused son.

 _Slash!_

He had hurt him.

Mana had hurt his own son.

Allen fell to the ground as he held his bleeding wound. Pain and hurt flashed through that small face, those emotions that shouldn't be there on a child's face.

 _STOP!  
_

 _DON'T HURT HIM!_

 _ **DON'T HURT MY ALLEN!**_

Everything after that happened like a blur. When he was coming back to his senses, he saw huge white claw-like hands approaching him by using its fingers, dragging his son with him.

 _So this is where I die again._

But before he did, he wants to say these words to Allen. Words that he didn't tell him when he was alive.

" _Allen...I love you…"_

" _Please destroy me."_

 _Please, Allen._

 _No matter what happens, no matter what, never stop, always keep walking._

 _For the sake of your own._

 _For your happiness that I couldn't give you._

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 **This is the first emotional story that I had ever written, so I have no idea if I wrote it right or everything is just a jumble mess.**

 **Hope you enjoyed this, even though it's a sad fic.**


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